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Real Programmer's Code of
Conduct
[circa 1970s]
-
Real programmers don't write specs -- Users
should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take
what they get.
- Real programmers don't comment their code.
If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.
-
Real programmers don't write application
programs, they program right down on the bare metal. Application
programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming.
- Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat
Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
-
Real programmers' programs never work right
the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be
patched into working in only a few 30-hours debugging sessions.
- Real programmers don't write in Fortran.
Fortran is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
-
Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If any
real programmers are around at 9 am, it's because they were up all
night.
- Real programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually,
no programmers write in BASIC after the age of 12.
-
Real programmers don't document.
Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object
deck.
- Real programmers don't write in Pascal, or
Bliss, or Ada, or any of those pinko computer science languages.
Strong typing is for people with weak memories.
-
Real programmers know better than the users
what they need.
- Real programmers think structured
programming is a communist plot.
-
Real programmers don't use schedules.
Schedules are for manager's toadies. Real programmers like to keep
their manager in suspense.
- Real programmers think better when playing
Adventure.
Author Unknown
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